Week #5

I'm always amazed at how fast these six week summer classes fly by. Just as we're getting into the meat and potatoes of gender communication, the class is over :( boo.

Now that I am so aware of how gender infiltrates our daily lives, I find myself pointing out these stereotypes in myself and in others. Is anyone else doing that?

I have always identified myself as being very "feminine" and I find it interesting how I have always prided myself on perpetuating some of the worst stereotypes out there by putting down women who are masculine. Hey, admitting you have a problem is the first step! : )

I haven't had too many noteworthy gender moments happening, but I did come across something interesting today that I thought I'd share. One of my "friends" on Face Book posted a picture of an attractive male soccer player without his shirt on and her comment on the picture was something to the effect of, ladies, if you're not watching soccer, here is a reason to start! I must admit, when I first saw the picture, I couldn't agree with her more, but at second glance, I wondered to myself why we have to ascribe sexuality to every image we see? Although I think we focus on the sexualness (I think I just made up a word) of men, do you think women can/do have the same nature? This sort of reminds me of in a roundabout (okay, hardly connected) way about women "cougars." Why is it more acceptable for an older man to date a woman significantly younger than him but if 1) a younger woman pursues an older man, she's a "gold digger" and 2) if an older woman pursues a younger man, she's a cougar. What gives?

Week #4

I posted this in the wrong spot originally:

So here we are in week #4 and I can hardly believe how quickly summer classes come and go.

I hadn't checked in last week because quite honestly I didn't have much to say. I sometimes struggle with living in a world where gender stereotypes (as well as other stereotypes) are so prevalent in our everyday lives. At times, I find it hard to be so aware. Ignorance truly is bliss. Sometimes, the responsibility for educating others on what they are doing to perpetuate gender stereotypes is exhausting. I understand that we can't control how others think, but I just feel that generally speaking, people have gotten so lazy and choose not to think for themselves. We all have to be proactive and decide for ourselves how to live our own lives.

Sometimes, I just feel so overwhelmed by all the ways gender and other expectations are forced upon us. If I'm not smiling every minute of everyday at work, I am asked what is wrong. I am a very "smiley" person but just because I'm not smiling doesn't mean that I'm not happy.

I do support the adoption of children by gay couples. We should all be concerned with whether or not a couple, gay or otherwise, can provide a safe and loving home for a child and not what goes on behind closed doors.

Okay, so I've got a story to tell. I should have posted this last week, but anywho, better late than never. After our discussion board post topic last week about the female soccer player ripping her shirt off after a victory, I brought it up with my co-workers (two men, and another woman ranging in age from 30-61). This conversation actually led to a conversation about clothing and what is appropriate dress for men and women (the jump off point being that a sports bra is hardly revealing, and that women wear skimpier bikinis on the beach).

All three of my co-workers placed a tremendous emphasis on physical appearance. We talked about men's bathing suits and how some middle-aged, overweight men wear speedos on the beach and how unattractive this is. We also discussed women's clothing and how overweight women shouldn't wear spandex. Why do we care so much about what others wear? I chimed in and simply said that confidence is attractive, and if a man or woman is confident enough and comfortable enough to wear an article of clothing that another might find "unattractive", then so be it. The clothing doesn't make the man. We tend to judge one's character based on outward appearance far too often.

And PS to Prof. M., the unhappiness that you sensed was accurate!! :(

Week #4 comment to Jackie's post

Your comment on how your straight friends complain to you about their boyfriends really struck me. I think it is just another aspect of the typical feminine gender role; women talk and discuss with men. There were countless personal accounts in our book of men who couldn't understand why all their girlfriends wanted to do was talk about their relationships and women who got mad at their boyfriends who did not want to talk out an issue. I really applaud what you said about you and your girlfriend agreeing that if you had any issues, you would discuss it with each other first and not other friends. I think communication is the key to a successful relationship and I must sadly admit that I am finding that my fiance and I do not have the best communication skills.

I also find it interesting about your roommate asking which one of you wore the pants in your relationship. I never really considered myself and my fiance equals. Ironically, I always kind of say that I wore the pants in this relationship. I think that's mostly because I'm high strung and he's so passive that he lets me "rule the roost" so they say because I'm happier when I'm in control.

Week #2 original post

So, this week, let's examine our gender roles? How come so many of us adhere to gender roles in this day and age? IF men and women are moving towards equality in relationships, workplace, etc. how come we still adhere to masculine and feminine roles? My husband and I both are college professors, yet, the distribution of work around the house is still not evenly divided. I am still taking on the role of cleaning, childcare, organizing the home, shopping. My husband does his "manly" duties but, does significantly less around the home...yet, we both teach/work full time? How is it that as a gender communication instructor that I am caught up in these roles? Do you find yourself stuck in old fashion gender roles? Or, perpetuate their existence in your life, family, work, school? Do these roles help us understand ourselves better, and promote our personal goals or inhibit our growth? Are they barriers to our society or merely means to civility? How are you playing out gender roles in your life?

I think it's very easy for all of us to perpetuate the gender roles dictated by society for our sex. I feel that changing our gender roles takes a constant awareness and a tremendous amount of effort. Constant bombardment from all sides with pressure to be feminine if we are female and masculine if we are men provides little room for creating our own gender.

For the record, I am 27, engaged and live with my fiancee. I do find that to some extent, I am stuck in the traditional feminine role that I was socialized to be. I obsess over my weight, I have a poor self-image and I'm constantly "counting calories." I strive for perfection when it comes to appearance. I love to cook and my house is always clean. I do the grocery shopping and take care of the cat (he's like our child!). I take care of the dry cleaning and laundry, pay the bills and send out birthday cards. I do all of these tasks without blinking an eye in addition to school and working full time. I don't know how to change a tire, and I do not have enough upper body strength to shovel 12 inches of snow. I don't know how to create a wireless network or hang a ceiling fan. These are all masculine tasks that Dan is responsible for. I find that I have the same expectations of other men and women. For instance, I have a female co-worker who doesn't like to cook and find it abnormal.

At work, I smile and am approachable. Guests and visitors to our office often call on me for assistance. My co-workers often tell me that I smile and make eye contact too frequently.

I feel that gender roles are only as inhibitory as you allow them to be. The textbook reading has caused me to do a lot of self-reflection and reflect on my relationships with members of both sexes. I think they can allow us to understand ourselves better if we are aware of them, how they develop and how they affect our lives. Knowledge stimulates personal growth.